I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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