make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
