nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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