blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
how drunk are you?
Several
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
