He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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