He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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