I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
