Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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