Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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