Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
