just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
