And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
