I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
