Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Randomize
