I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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