I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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