Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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