i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
