dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize