Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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