He is such a slut. More and more my type.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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