i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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