from now on my penis is your penis
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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