he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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