So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize