What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
