as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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