I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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