Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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