just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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