as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Drunk is not a location!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
