told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I am naked and annoyed.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
