would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
