ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
