Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
