You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
