You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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