Your tits are I can't wait for
I think I won the penis lottery.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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