Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
