we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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