i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
