And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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