she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
