Duck Duck Cougar?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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