No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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