I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
