Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
