wat bout pragnant strippers??
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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