So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We are all done wearing pants today
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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