Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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