omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
