Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
